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The Office is the location
for information regarding Devin and Sophie's professions as well
as political items.
| The Libertarian
Party/Politics/ Government Section |
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Top 25 list (this is a list
Reiko Bradley, Tatyana Joffe, and I cooked up one day at work,
since we are all involved in collecting money from foreign clients...anyone
in the biz should relate to all of these). Reasons #1-10 are actually
real ones given to us by clients. The rest are tongue in cheek
(sorta):
Top 25 Reasons Why Foreign
Licensees Cannot Pay:
25. Although you said you sent
the original agreement and the invoice 100 times, we still don't
have it and until someone hand delivers it to our office, we can't
pay.
24. We must have the internegative,
interpositive and whatever is the most expensive delivery materials
we can think of on loan for 1 year, or otherwise we can't pay.
It's our company policy but we forgot to negotiate that into our
contract. Ooops!
23. We need the contract and the standard terms and conditions
translated into our local language and then notarized, consularized
and whatever ...rized you can think of (at Licensor's expense,
of course) before we can pay. It's the law.
22. We can only transfer funds in increments of $1,000 a month,
and therefore we should pay in full in 10 years.
21. Our office was set on fire (by us) and we have no record that
we owe you money.
20. No speaka de English. Vhat means money? Gomorto feros tulin
balarta?
19. We can send you a check for the full amount...but don't cash
it!
18. But we have already paid Mark (Damon) four million dollars
as a deposit three years ago on twelve titles that have yet to
be produced! When is Night Eyes 7 going to start principal photography
anyways?
17. The movie is still pending censorship. We should hear something
from the government before the turn of the next century.
16. Don't you realize we are just in this movie business as a
front for our narcotics operations? Or did you really think we
actually like your movies? In any event, when we get the blow
from Paraguay you'll get your payment.
15. Why should I pay you? It will cost me less to bribe the judges
here than to pay you your money.
14. We got your new invoice...but we need an original, can you
put it in the mail? Yes we know our mail system operates by llama
and takes 3 weeks to deliver a letter, but rules are rules...
13. We lost your invoice...can you send us another one?
12. We don't have any dollars to pay you....will you accept pretty
white rocks as currency?
11. Today is the Feast of Saint Bernard of the Withered Ankle
and the banks are closed
10. Our accountant is sick and he is the only one who knows where
our bank account is.
9. ___________ (fill in the
blank) is on a vacation and he is the only one who can authorize
payment
8. We can't find the agreements and need another copy to know
where to send the money.
7. The government was overthrown - there is no money anywhere
in the country.
6. The office was set on fire and everything was burned, including
the checks.
5. The currency has been devalued and there is rioting in the
streets, so it is too dangerous to go to the bank.
4. The company went bankrupt ... but I'll see you in Cannes, we're
looking for big theatrical titles.
3. We were told Mel Gibson would be in it. We want a reduction.
2. We have no record of this film.
1. We will go bankrupt if we pay you.
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This page last updated
February 13, 2007