The Office  

 Enter the Hallway  

The Office is the location for information regarding Devin and Sophie's professions as well as political items.

The Libertarian Party/Politics/ Government Section  
Entertainment Financial Consulting Services (Devin's Company)  
Devin's Resume  
Innovative Merchant Solutions (Sophie's Job)  

Top 25 list (this is a list Reiko Bradley, Tatyana Joffe, and I cooked up one day at work, since we are all involved in collecting money from foreign clients...anyone in the biz should relate to all of these). Reasons #1-10 are actually real ones given to us by clients. The rest are tongue in cheek (sorta):

Top 25 Reasons Why Foreign Licensees Cannot Pay:

25. Although you said you sent the original agreement and the invoice 100 times, we still don't have it and until someone hand delivers it to our office, we can't pay.

24. We must have the internegative, interpositive and whatever is the most expensive delivery materials we can think of on loan for 1 year, or otherwise we can't pay. It's our company policy but we forgot to negotiate that into our contract. Ooops!

23. We need the contract and the standard terms and conditions translated into our local language and then notarized, consularized and whatever ...rized you can think of (at Licensor's expense, of course) before we can pay. It's the law.

22. We can only transfer funds in increments of $1,000 a month, and therefore we should pay in full in 10 years.

21. Our office was set on fire (by us) and we have no record that we owe you money.

20. No speaka de English. Vhat means money? Gomorto feros tulin balarta?

19. We can send you a check for the full amount...but don't cash it!

18. But we have already paid Mark (Damon) four million dollars as a deposit three years ago on twelve titles that have yet to be produced! When is Night Eyes 7 going to start principal photography anyways?

17. The movie is still pending censorship. We should hear something from the government before the turn of the next century.

16. Don't you realize we are just in this movie business as a front for our narcotics operations? Or did you really think we actually like your movies? In any event, when we get the blow from Paraguay you'll get your payment.

15. Why should I pay you? It will cost me less to bribe the judges here than to pay you your money.

14. We got your new invoice...but we need an original, can you put it in the mail? Yes we know our mail system operates by llama and takes 3 weeks to deliver a letter, but rules are rules...

13. We lost your invoice...can you send us another one?

12. We don't have any dollars to pay you....will you accept pretty white rocks as currency?

11. Today is the Feast of Saint Bernard of the Withered Ankle and the banks are closed

10. Our accountant is sick and he is the only one who knows where our bank account is.

9. ___________ (fill in the blank) is on a vacation and he is the only one who can authorize payment

8. We can't find the agreements and need another copy to know where to send the money.

7. The government was overthrown - there is no money anywhere in the country.

6. The office was set on fire and everything was burned, including the checks.

5. The currency has been devalued and there is rioting in the streets, so it is too dangerous to go to the bank.

4. The company went bankrupt ... but I'll see you in Cannes, we're looking for big theatrical titles.

3. We were told Mel Gibson would be in it. We want a reduction.

2. We have no record of this film.

1. We will go bankrupt if we pay you.

 Enter the Hallway  



This page last updated February 13, 2007